this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
