So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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