The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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