so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
