could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
