can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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