I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
