he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
not ubering you a puppy
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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