I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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