I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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