I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I think your dad took our porno
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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