i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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