You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
