this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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