Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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