That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
