trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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