I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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