I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Randomize
