I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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