Moan for me like Helen Keller
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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