found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
