P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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