you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
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I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
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I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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