Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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