can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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