I want to have your abortion
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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