thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
