FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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