Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
