I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
