This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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