So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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