I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I have already put on my inside pants.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
