PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
