I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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