Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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