are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's shark week go big or go home
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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