**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
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well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
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Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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