I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
