I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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