can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
