Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
