I wanna bring you to show and tell
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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