You really coming over, don't trick.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
When are your genitals available?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
