Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
