I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My vagina just recognized that song.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
