I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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