I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize