I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
