i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
