I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
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He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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