I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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