She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Less talking, more tequila
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
