I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
