Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
