Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
