your parents love me but you hate me
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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