she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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