The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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