On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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